First time mother in a foreign country: My birth story in Delft
- Erika Brouwer
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
Between uncertainty and trust: my journey to motherhood & cultural Surprises in Dutch Prenatal Care
When my partner and I had been living together in Delft for three years, our dream of starting a family began to take shape. We were ready. And yet—as an expat in the Netherlands, the idea of becoming pregnant and giving birth in a new country felt quite daunting. In the country I come from, prenatal care looks very different. I had already heard various stories, even from friends here in the Netherlands, and it made me feel a bit uncertain.
But the desire to become a mother was stronger. We didn’t want to wait any longer.
When I became pregnant with our first daughter, I entered the world of Dutch midwifery care for the first time. Everything was new. My first appointments were at Verloskundigenpraktijk Avea in the city center of Delft—close to our home. I immediately felt welcome there. The midwives really took their time with me, and that gave me peace of mind.
Midwives Take the Lead
In the Netherlands, midwives are the main caregivers during pregnancy — not doctors. Unless there’s a medical complication, you may go your entire pregnancy without seeing a gynecologist. At first, this felt unusual, but I quickly came to appreciate the more personal and grounded care I received. I was surprised by how minimalist the prenatal process felt here — just a few ultrasounds (usually three), and not nearly as many routine tests as I’d seen friends go through in other countries. It took me a while to trust that “less is more,” but the Dutch system is built on that confidence in natural processes.
In the final weeks of my pregnancy, my blood pressure started to rise. Immediate action was taken: extra check-ups, more attention. What stood out to me most was how seriously I was taken. From the beginning, I had made the decision to trust the healthcare system—and that trust was completely validated.
At the start of my pregnancy, I thought I wanted to give birth in the hospital.
Home Birth is Totally Normal
I’ll admit — the idea of a home birth initially shocked me! Where I come from, it’s usually seen as unconventional, but here it’s a respected and supported option. The midwives are trained for it, and many women choose it as a calm and natural way to give birth. In the Netherlands, midwives are the main caregivers during pregnancy — not doctors. Unless there’s a medical complication, you may go your entire pregnancy without seeing a gynecologist. At first, this felt unusual, but I quickly came to appreciate the more personal and grounded care I received.
Dduring my final check-up with the midwife—literally the day before giving birth—I suddenly felt: if it's possible, I want to give birth at home.
And so it happened.
That same evening, while we were watching TV, my water broke—nine days before my due date. The contractions didn’t start that night, so I stayed awake with excitement while my husband calmly went to sleep. Around 8 a.m., the contractions started coming regularly. The midwife came by: I was only 3 centimeters dilated.
"It’s still going to take a while," she said. But suddenly, things moved quickly.
Around 11:30, the contractions had become intense, and I started thinking about going to the hospital for an epidural. But when the midwife came back, I was already 8 centimeters dilated—it was almost time. She stayed with me, and a little while later, the maternity nurse arrived as well - Naviva kraamzorg.
One of the best surprises was kraamzorg — a postnatal care nurse who visits your home for several days after birth. I hadn’t heard of this in any other country, and honestly, it felt like a gift. She helped with newborn care, breastfeeding, and even making sure I was taking care of myself. I felt so supported.
The final hours were intense, but I felt supported by the care and the trust I had built throughout my pregnancy.
The birth was intense, but miraculous. The moment my daughter was born, the pain disappeared. The endorphins, the joy... it was overwhelming. I was completely in my own world—and then suddenly, there she was.
Now, 13 years later, I look back on that time with deep gratitude. For the care, the dedication, the love I received. I look at my pregnancy photos from back then and see myself through the eyes of the woman I am today. And I feel nothing but love for that young mother who walked her path so bravely.
It may seem like a smooth story now, but it was anything but easy. During that pregnancy, we moved, sold our house, renovated our new home, and said goodbye to my mother-in-law—just ten days after her granddaughter was born. It was a time full of change, loss, and growth.But that might be a story for another time.
What has your experience with midwifery care been like?
Every mother carries her own story—about pregnancy, birth, and the beginning of motherhood. I listen to those stories with full attention, because it’s in those shared experiences that we find connection. In what we’ve been through, and in what binds us together: the journey of motherhood.
Would you like to share your story?Or are you expecting and want to capture this special time with heartfelt, natural photos?I’d love to hear from you.
With love,
Erika
Maternity & Newborn Photographer in Delft
Comments